Mythical Beast: The Liberal Eliteopotomous and the Mean-spirited Conservopotomous
The Liberal Eliteopotamus (left) is thought to be highly endangered as a result of fierce competition from its insatiable, savagely territorial, and obsessive-aggressive arch-Nemises, the Conservopotamus Meritocritus (right) and Conservopotamus Limbaugh (low down and far right).
Generally believed to be distant cousins, the two Conservopotamus species, C. Meritocitus and C. Limbaugh are very often confused.
The more evolved, social, and philanthropic Liberal Eliteopotamus can always be distinguished from a Mean-Spirited Conservopotamusby the latter’s wide-gaping mouth, belligerence, bellicosity, shameless hypocrisy, venality, and greed; and by the falsely claimed and undeserved “Mantle of Merit” covering the copious folds of the Conservopotamus’ persona.
The Liberal Eliteopotamus is a member of what the right calls the “liberal elite.” According to Wikipedia, the Liberal Elite is:
“a political phrase to describe affluent, politically liberal-leaning people. It is commonly used with the pejorative implication that the people who support the rights of the working class are themselves members of the
upper class, or upper middle class, and are therefore out of touch with the real needs of the people they claim to support and protect. The phrase “liberal elite” should not be confused with the term “elite” as used by writers such as Vilfredo Pareto and C. Wright Mills. They use the term to mean those who exercise the most political power. As a polemical term it has been used to refer to political positions as diverse as secularism, environmentalism, feminism, and other positions associated with the left.”
On the other hand, the Mean-Spirited Conservopotamus claims to advocate meritocracy, a thinly veiled form of authoritarianism –and if that isn’t true elitism, I don’t know what is. As usual, the right-wing “pot” reflexively calls the left-wing “kettle” black. That is the very nature of the Conservopotamus. They accuse others of their own vices. Conservopotami are also rumored to frequently eat their own young (which are known, in the case of C. Limbaugh, as “Ditto-heads”).
To paraphrase John Stuart Mill, “Conservopotami are not necessarily stupid, but most stupid people are Conservopotami.”
C. Hippocripotomus Kettleoptical is a diminutive member of the genus Conservopotomous. The males of the species have a head that strangely resembles that of Glenn Beck; thus they are often known as “Becks” or “Beckers.”
If placed in front of a mirror, the male Hippocripotomus snarls at its own image aggressively, mistakenly believing the mirror image to be another beast. It may even charge the the mirror and bash into it.
These creatures as they age, grow a strange, black, kettle shaped appendage above their foreheads. Being semi-intelligent, they are capable of limited language, which is typically used to criticize the “black kettles” growing on the heads of other male Hippocripotomi. They also have a habit of complaining about all manner of other creatures in ways which suspiciously resemble their own faults: they accuse gentle grazers of being “grass guzzlers”; yell at other vocal animals for imposing their “brain washed” point of view on others, as they, all the while, attempt to do the same; and accuse others of dishonesty and “progressivism” conspiracies, even as they manipulate those around them in blatant attempts to get their own way.
Relations between male Hippocripotomi, “Beckers”, are usually strained (not surprisingly); although on the surface they seem to share the same peculiar world views. The problem is that they are extremely nearsighted, paranoid, and power hungry. This frequently results in fierce head-butting, back-biting, and pissing contests for dominance.
Females of the species (sometimes known as “Palins”) are expected to be subservient to the males. Like the males, they have difficulty managing their volatile tempers, and cat-fights among frustrated females are common. Ill-tempered as they are, however, a “Palin” will rarely dare to directly challenge a full-grown “Becker”.
[Note: hypocrisy is from the Greek hypokrisis, meaning “play-acting”, “acting out”, “coward” or “dissembling”]
- Psychological projection or projection bias is a psychological defense mechanism where a person unconsciously denies their own attributes, thoughts, and emotions, which are then ascribed to the outside world, such as to the weather, a tool, or to other people. Thus, it involves imagining or projecting that others have those feelings. (Wikipedia)
- Hypocrisy (Wikipedia)
- Scapegoating (Wikipedia)
- Bullying (Wikipedia)
- Transference (Wikipedia)
- Brainwashing (Wikipedia)
- Propaganda (Wikipedia)